10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Finalizing Your Wedding Guest List

1. Are we prioritizing immediate family and close friends first?

Start by identifying the non-negotiables: parents, siblings, cousins, and your closest friends. Everything else can fall into tiers afterward.

💡 Tip: Create categories like “must-invite,” “would love to invite,” and “nice-to-have” to help prioritize.

2. How many people does my venue realistically hold?

Some venues advertise a large capacity but don’t account for dance floors, buffet tables, or mandaps.

I learned the hard way that 250 seated guests at my venue really meant 200 comfortably after factoring in decor and staging.

💡 Tip: Ask your venue what your realistic guest count looks like with your planned floor layout.

3. What’s our target budget (and per-head spend)?

South Asian weddings can quickly rack up food and beverage costs per guest, especially when you have multiple events (mehndi, sangeet, wedding, reception).

💡 Tip: Calculate your per-guest costs early, including catering, decor, rentals, and even transportation or parking fees—you’ll see how fast things add up!

4. Are we inviting the same people to every event?

You don’t need to have every single guest at every single event. For example:

• Keep the mehndi or haldi to close family and friends.

• Keep the reception open to the full guest list.

💡 Tip: This helped me create a more intimate vibe for smaller events while still hosting everyone at the main wedding day.

5. How much input do our parents want (and how much are we okay giving)?

South Asian weddings = family affairs. Sit down early with your parents and future in-laws to decide how much say they’ll have over the guest list. Some parents will want to invite extended family and community friends, while others are more hands-off.

💡 Tip: Have a conversation about “our invites” vs. “your invites” early to avoid friction later.

6. Are we accounting for “plus-ones” properly?

Plus-ones can sneakily inflate your guest list!

For our wedding, we decided:

• Married or engaged couples = automatic plus-one

• Single friends = case-by-case basis

💡 Tip: Be clear on your plus-one policy when sending invitations and consider venue/budget limitations.

7. Are we inviting colleagues or keeping it personal?

Do you want your coworkers or your boss at your wedding? For us, this was a tough call because of cultural expectations, but we ultimately chose to keep our wedding to family and personal friends only.

💡 Tip: If your wedding is very large (400+ guests), you may have room for work connections. If it’s more intimate, it’s okay to set boundaries.

8. What’s our guestlist policy for kids?

South Asian weddings often welcome children, but some couples choose to limit kids to immediate family only, especially for evening receptions.

💡 Tip: If you’re planning a black-tie or late-night party vibe, consider offering childcare or keeping the reception kid-free.

9. Are we ready to make tough calls about extended family?

If your parents have 20+ cousins, this is where it gets tricky. Are you inviting just first cousins, or does the circle extend to second cousins and their families too?

💡 Tip: We made a rule: if we hadn’t spoken to someone in the last 3 years, they didn’t make the list (exceptions for elders & key family relationships).

10. Does this guest add meaning to our day (or are we inviting them out of obligation)?

This was the hardest but most important question I asked myself.

Would we genuinely miss this person if they weren’t at the wedding, or were we inviting them because “we have to”?

💡 Tip: You’re allowed to say no to inviting people out of guilt—it’s your wedding, and you deserve to be surrounded by people who matter most.

Our guest list felt overwhelming at first, but once we got clear on these questions, it helped us create the balance between honoring family and staying true to ourselves.

💡 Need help finding vendors who can work with your guest count and budget? Check out Plan My Desi Wedding.